oh yes....

somewhere inside
i probably should be crying
should probably feel more broken
more torn
more in two
but i dont let myself
get broken
never never never ever never
wont cant wont, nope

ill let you in
im not guarded
im not that
im not a scorpio
im an open book
you're free to read
and make notes in my margins
highlight my pages
add lines, pages, chapters
or not
i dont shut you out
thats not my safety feature
not my self-preservation function

i dont hope
i dont plan
i keep, or try to keep
from thinking any further than the now
or a few nows from now

i let myself hope for more with him
i let myself want regularity
i let myself let go of the cool
of the me who is just enjoying
she was still there
but she was joined by the hope
the, well maybe
we'll see
.fucker.
shes the one who did me in
because even though im stupid
wasnt blind sighted
or treated bad in anyway
because she was there
because she came to stay
and talk
and linger linger linger
long after i had wanted my thoughts to cease
to that end
she doomed me
doomed me to minor sadness at the words of it
at the sound of the
we shouldnt do this anymore
its all her fault
and i hate that girl
and shes a part of me
and i hate it still and more and greater